Very Important Stuff

Two days until vacation, woo hoo! I have a bazillion things to do to get ready, but of course I end up writing porn instead. Yup, I definitely have my priorities.



The Blowjob Fic

John sat on his couch, face buried in his hands. "We are NOT having this conversation."

"Why not? Come on, give me one good reason why we shouldn't have sex."

John pulled his hands away and scowled up at Rodney. "Because we're guys. Both of us."

"Yes, yes, exactly." Rodney sat beside him. "Guys always want to have sex. Tell me you don’t think about sex."

John actually didn't, not a whole lot but now with Rodney looming in his personal space and saying the word 'sex' every five seconds, it was impossible not to. "Rodney--" John shook his head.

"Oh, wait--you've never had sex with another guy before, have you?" Rodney leaned back and gave John a condescending smile. "How very narrow-minded."

"I am not narrow-minded," John insisted. For god's sake, he wasn't inexperienced or unworldly and did Rodney have to act so damn superior? "I just never, guys have never--I like girls, okay? I like them a lot."

"All right." Rodney nodded. "I get that, I really do. But I'm not seeing any girls here right now. And you need to have sex. We both do. Because--"

"Don't you have something to do in the lab?" John asked. "Something of critical importance? I hear Radek is about to build a ZPM all on his own."

Rodney ignored his clever diversionary tactic. "One, we're under constant stress, and I don't think there is any question that it affects our ability to sleep at night. Two, in order to be at our best for off-world missions we need to be fully rested and alert. Our very lives could depend on us having an orgasm."

John opened his mouth, then closed it. What Rodney was saying made a scary kind of sense.

"Now granted, we can do it ourselves--masturbation is a time-honored method of relaxing one's self enough to fall asleep, but I have to say it's starting to get kind of old. Sex with my right hand just isn't that exciting." Rodney made a vague jerking-off motion.

A vision flashed in John's head of Rodney laying in bed, pants unzipped, hand on his fully-erect cock.

"Meditating. Have you tried meditating?" John asked desperately. "That's supposed to help you sleep."

Rodney cut him off with a raised finger. "And three, I give excellent blowjobs."

John couldn't help himself. "Sure you do."

"Are you kidding? I've been told I raise it to an art form."

"No. I don't want to hear this." John shook his head, mind filling with images of Rodney on his knees, sucking cock. Enthusiastically. Then he frowned. "Wait--who? Who told you that?"

"What, you want references? Fine, I can put you in touch with the right people."

John wanted to ask how much cock Rodney had sucked, but no, not going there, not in a million years. He didn't want to know. And he definitely did not want references. "No. No, please, Rodney, I'm not--"

"And four--you are totally hot. You're the hottest guy in the city." Rodney's gaze grew wide-eyed and longing.

"Really?" John asked, warmth flaring deep in his gut. "You think so?"

Rodney nodded. "Listen, I like to suck hot guy's cocks, you're a hot guy, all guys like blowjobs--it's entirely a win-win situation."

The more John thought about it, the more he trouble he had finding fault with Rodney's logic. Sure, Rodney had a tendency to boast, but if he was half as good as he said he was, it would still be a hell of a lot better than what he was getting right now in the way of sex, which was zilch. It had been a long, long time since anyone's mouth had been on his cock. Rodney was right, he liked getting blown, hell, he loved it.

Then he remembered the single outstanding issue. "But you're a guy," John pointed out gently.

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Yes. I am. John, I'm not asking you to marry me. I just want to have sex. If I had known you'd make such a big stink about it, I would have asked someone else." Rodney sighed, then rose up from the couch and headed toward the door.

"Wait," John said, "Where are you going?"

Rodney turned and crossed his arms over his chest. "To find someone who won't give me such a hard time." He lifted his chin, defiant.

John sprang up from the couch. "Wait, wait, you can't just go around offering--"

Rodney cocked his head to one side. "And why not?"

"Who the hell are you going to ask?" John ran through the list of hot guys on the base. Ronon? Would Rodney actually have the nerve to approach Ronon? Lorne. Maybe Lorne. Lorne would never agree to it, not in a million years although maybe Lorne really liked blowjobs and crap, there were hundreds of big hunky military personnel on the base and more than a few good-looking guys on the science team. "Okay, fine," John blurted. "Let's do it."

Rodney's expression went soft. "Seriously?"

"Uh, yeah." John shrugged with a nonchalance he did not feel. "What the hell."

Rubbing his hands together, Rodney strode over to where John stood. "You won't regret this," he promised, eyes gleaming.

John nodded hesitantly. "You know--I don’t, um--" He shifted his weight and gestured at the alarming bulge in Rodney's pants. "What should I do in return?"

Rodney waved him off. "A handjob will be fine. Don't worry about it."

Breathing a sigh of relief, John nodded. "Okay. I can do that." He started toward the couch.

"No, no, no--" Rodney tugged him toward the bed. "My knees can't take the hard floor for long periods. And believe me, you don't want me to rush this."

"I don't?" John would have thought it was impossible to be worried and turned on at the same time.

Rodney flashed him a absurdly cute grin. "No. You don't."

Intrigued, John let Rodney lead him to the bed. He sat on the edge and bent down to remove his boots, wondering if he should close the curtains, even though he knew for a fact that no one could see in. It was all starting to feel surreal, him and Rodney, together in his room, getting ready for Rodney to suck his cock.

He slipped his boots off, then leaned back and unfastened his pants. "So," John said, not sure what to do next. It seemed rude to just go ahead and pull his cock out.

"Those have to come off," Rodney said.

"All the way?" John asked.

"Yes, and your underwear, too. I don't want anything interfering with my work."

John scooted up on the bed and under Rodney's watchful eye, lifted his hips and pushed his pants down. It felt weird, very weird, and when Rodney helped out by tugging them off completely things began to feel even more strange. Rodney was undressing him. Rodney. Undressing. Him.

"These too." Rodney reached up and pulled on John's boxers.

An awkward scuffle of his feet as John removed his boxers, and then his socks and at last he was naked from the waist down, cool air wafting over his half-hard cock. Rodney stared at him with that crooked grin, the one that tended to appear when he was particularly pleased and okay, this was now officially one hundred percent weird.

"Are you ready?" Rodney asked as he positioned himself between John's legs.

John took a breath and nodded. "Sure."

"Are you comfy up there? Do you want another pillow?"

"For god's sake Rodney, just get on with--oh."

Rodney's hands were on his thighs, warm and heavy, moving up and over his hips in a slow caress. John leaned back on his arms, watching as Rodney touched him, surprised by Rodney's gentleness, by the way he pressed his hands to the inside of John's thighs and urged them apart, still stroking his skin, firm yet soothing. John was completely hard, his cock jutting out eagerly, even though it was Rodney doing this or maybe because it was Rodney--John wasn't sure and he really didn't want to think too hard about it.

When Rodney slid down and stretched out on the bed John held his breath in anticipation, but Rodney simply pressed his lips to his thigh. Soft kisses, again and again, working his way up until John could feel warm breath and the brush of Rodney's cheek on his balls.

Without looking up, Rodney grinned. "Yes," he murmured, then closed his mouth over John's cock.

"Oh," John said, astonished. Rodney's mouth, on him--on his cock, John could hardly believe what he was seeing, his own cock sliding past Rodney's lips and into his mouth but it was real-- all that wet heat and firm pressure as Rodney sucked, deliberate movements drawing slow curls of pleasure from deep within.

It felt good, hell, it felt fantastic but then it stopped way too soon, his cock left cooling in the breeze. Rodney moved to mouth John's balls and okay, that was good too, that was very good. John lay back on the bed, gasping as Rodney tenderly sucked one, then the other. He tried to hold still against the intense sensation, eyes screwed shut but when Rodney ran his tongue up the underside of his cock John gave up, groaning and twisting his hips, pushing against Rodney's mouth. He wanted, he needed Rodney to suck him again.

With a low chuckle Rodney licked the head. John jerked his hips. "Rodney..

Rodney nibbled on John's stomach, licked his hipbone, nuzzled his pubic hair, did everything except touch his cock. John gripped the edges of the bed, pushing his cock against whatever he could--Rodney's chest, his cheek, seeking contact and Rodney was maybe the cruelest man alive--John agreed to have sex, damn it, not be teased into oblivion. Finally Rodney's mouth engulfed him again, thank god, but when John was finally soaring toward pure bliss the feeling vanished and Rodney was off investigating the crease of his thigh.

"Damn it, Rodney," John gasped. A gentle tickling sensation on his cock, and he raised his head to see Rodney stroking it with the tip of his fingers.

"Like I said, you don't want to rush these things." Rodney grinned and fingered the slit, then with a flick of his tongue lapped at the moisture there.

John groaned and fell back. "Please," he said, and it wasn't begging, no, it wasn't. It was simply to indicate that if he didn't come soon he'd climb out of his skin.

"Soon." Rodney pushed up John's legs. "Hold them like this," he said, and something in his tone of voice, gruff and low, made John immediately grab behind his knees and pull his legs to his chest.

Rodney cupped his ass, pushed his face in, and licked.

John wasn't sure what kind of blowjob involved a tongue up your ass, and it totally wasn't his thing, except that apparently it was and he couldn't stop moaning about it. It was amazing and kinky and he was never ever going to be able to look at Rodney's mouth without thinking about it

Before long John was desperate again, ready to jerk himself off but then Rodney tugged at his legs, pulling them down and his mouth was back on John's cock, a heady shock of pleasure, finally, finally--

John dug his heels in, and Rodney tugged at John's hip, encouraging him to thrust. John didn't want to, he was afraid to let go but Rodney kept insisting and it felt so good to push into the heat, soaring up higher and higher. Blindly John reached down and found Rodney's shoulder. He twisted his fingers into Rodney shirt, anchoring himself as the feeling rose up inside, he was going to come, he was going to fly apart into a million pieces--

And then he was there, pouring out into Rodney's mouth, coming for what seemed like forever. He came until there was nothing left, until he was left limp and breathless on the bed, whimpering as Rodney petted his hip and then finally his softening cock slipped free.

"So, am I right?" Rodney's voice sounded as if it was coming from a great distance.

John opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling, mouth open, trying to remember how to breathe.

"Good, huh?"

John turned his head to find Rodney stretched out on his side, still fully dressed. His mouth was red and a little puffy. "Uh?" John asked.

Rodney grinned. "I told you so."

John nodded slowly.

"And you were seriously noisy," Rodney added. "Do you have any idea what a turn-on that is?"

Frowning, John closed his mouth and swallowed. Maybe that was why his throat felt so dry.

"Listen, this whole post-coital daze is very flattering, but did I mention turned on? Really really turned on?" Rodney reached down to unfasten his pants.

John blinked at the sizable bulge in Rodney's pants.

"Okay, fine, if this is all just a little too much for you I can take care of it myself--"

"No." John put his hand over Rodney's erection. With a little jerk of his hips Rodney thrust against his palm, as if he couldn't help himself.

It was kind of cool.

"Come here," John said, and he slipped a hand inside Rodney's pants, spreading it over Rodney's hard, hot cock.

"Oh," Rodney said. "Oh--just let me--" He scrambled to push his pants and briefs down past his hips, freeing his cock.

John rolled to face him. It was a simple thing to wrap his hand around the shaft, to feel the firm length of it in his hand, the slickness at the head and yeah, it looked kind of weird, the dark head of Rodney's cock pushing through his fist but it was the least he could do after what Rodney did for him.

Rodney clutched his shoulder and groaned. "John--"

John stroked, not sure exactly what to do with it but he knew how he liked to be touched, so he did the same for Rodney, rubbing his thumb just under the head on the upstroke, squeezing before sliding it back down again.

"It was always about you," Rodney suddenly whispered. "I wouldn't have gone to anyone else, you should know that--I only wanted you."

"Rodney," John said, head jerking up. Rodney's eyes were blue and intense against pale skin, looking worried as though he was afraid he had said too much and oh, Rodney wanted him and that made John's breath catch in his throat.

With a surge of affection he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Rodney's.

Rodney gasped. For a second John thought he had done the wrong thing, that this wasn't what Rodney wanted after all but then Rodney grabbed him and kissed him back, licking into his mouth, pushy and sweet and shy, just like Rodney himself, a whirl of contradictions.

John tightened his grip and Rodney pushed into his hand. It was a strange thrill to feel Rodney come --stiff hard cock, Rodney's low whine, come oozing through his fingers. John stroked him through it, slowing his hand as Rodney's shuddering subsided.

Rodney went limp, face pressed against John's cheek. "That was good," he said in a small voice.

John chuckled. He slid a wet hand over Rodney's hip and squeezed, inordinately proud of himself.

They lay quietly for a moment. John decided Rodney had been absolutely, positively correct--they needed to have sex, a lot of sex, because right now he felt pretty damn good.

Rodney took a breath and pushed himself up. "Okay then."

"Rodney?" John asked, startled. "What are you doing?"

"I thought I should--" Rodney pointed to the door.

"No," John said firmly. "You shouldn't."

"I shouldn't?"

John shook his head. He had no idea what he was doing, no frame of reference for this but Rodney the supposed genius was staring at him with a bewildered expression and finally John had to spell it out. "Listen, the blowjob was excellent--hell, beyond excellent, but you really need to work on your cuddling technique."

"Oh?" Rodney blinked rapidly. "Oh. Hey, I know how to cuddle." He dove back down on the bed, gathering up John in his arms.

"Covers," John pointed out. "Someone took my pants off."

"Yes, of course." Rodney waved a hand. "Blankets are integral to cuddling, even I know that."

Soon John was wrapped up in Rodney's solid, wonderful body, blankets tucked around them both. A languid kiss to Rodney's mouth--still strange but rapidly becoming familiar--then John pressed his face against Rodney's warm neck, a hand sliding down his big broad back. It was kind of ridiculous how good it felt, but hey, it was Rodney.

"Win-win," John mumbled sleepily. "You have the best ideas."

Rodney chuckled and kissed the top of his head. "Don't I though?"

John nodded, and held Rodney tighter.