Authors:
thegrrrl2002 and mmmchelleFandom: SGA
Pairing: John/Rodney
Rating: NC-17
Summary: A little slip-up with computer files leads to..well, all sorts of things.
***
"Rodney, come on," John said, shouldering in to stand next to him. "You said the data was ready."
"Just a minute, Colonel." Rodney turned back to Dr. Biro, datapad cradled in his arm. "Here, this is the problem--"
"Just give it to me, and I'll be out of your hair." John flashed an apologetic smile at Biro.
"Rodney," Zelenka called from across the lab, where he was hunched over a laptop. "You should see this."
"Yes, yes, yes, for god's sake, take a number. There is only one of me, regrettably so." Rodney spun around and scowled at John. "What?"
"The data?"
"Oh, right." He patted down his pockets, and pulled a small flash drive out of one of them. "Here," he said, pressing it into John's outstretched palm.
"Thanks." With a pat to Rodney's shoulder, John left the lab.
The door to his office slid shut, and John removed the cap from the flashdrive, sliding it into the port before bringing the laptop out of hibernation. He had no idea why he was feeling so impatient, except usually Rodney couldn’t wait to give him data on the latest weapons tests.
Clicking on 'my computer', he located the flash drive and frowned. It was filled with avi files. Maybe Rodney had filmed the tests? He clicked on the first file, waiting while his media player started.
Music - bad, strident rock music came bursting through his speakers. Then the image of scantily clad women--attractive scantily clad women--with big breasts and lots of blond hair appeared. John blinked, and leaned closer to his monitor.
This certainly wasn't the kind of weapons test he was familiar with.
It was porn. Rodney had given him porn.
John grinned.
And it was the kind of porn that didn't waste time with preliminaries. Which seemed Rodney-like in a way. The woman on the screen was joined by a man she promptly began fellating and oh god, was that a shag carpet? Despite the rug, John hardened. There were slurping sounds, and she was taking the cock in front of her in deep, deeper than anyone had ever taken John. He gave his envious cock a squeeze.
Then a second one, because it missed blowjobs. John could sympathize. He missed them too. Which is what prompted the sympathetic stroke.
He closed the file reluctantly, grabbed the flashdrive and started for the lab, then hesitated. There had been quite a few avi files on the drive. Lots of naked women doing porny things. Maybe even to each other. He looked down at the device in his hand, and his cock twitched.
Big, bouncy breasts, or energy bursts and power levels and particle beams.
No contest. The data could wait.
He closed the computer, scooped it up and headed for his quarters.
***
John set the computer up on his desk, plugged in the flash drive and settled happily into his chair as it booted up. Trust Rodney to bring the essentials with him to another galaxy.
Part of him was curious as to what kind of porn a smart guy like Rodney would enjoy. Really dark and pervy? Or maybe intelligent porn. With a plot. Not that the first one John had seen had had much of a plot.
John clicked on a file at random, his cock hardening in anticipation. Two women, clad only in dainty lacy things, stretched out together on a bed, running their hands over each other's bodies.
"Thank you, Rodney," John murmured, his hand going to his cock.
Maybe he should hold off, watch a couple of the files first, push it until he couldn’t wait any longer. It had been a long time since his jerk off sessions had been accompanied by anything other than his own imagination. Not that he didn't have a good imagination. He did.
But outside stimulation was a good thing.
The two women kissed.
A very good thing.
John unbuttoned his pants with a blissful sigh. He'd take the edge off first. Then he could enjoy the rest of the collection, savor it even.
One of the women lowered her mouth to the other's breast. There was something unbelievably hot about two women together, and Rodney, pervert that he was, got that.
By the time the two were deep in a sixty-nine John had never liked Rodney more. He quickened his strokes, the excitement building as the camera zoomed in for a close up of a glistening pussy, wet fingers sliding inside. A moment later the camera angled up for view of gyrating hips, then over to a smooth, pale stomach and soft rounded breasts with pretty pink nipples.
John groaned, running his palm over the head of his cock, balls drawing in tight.
The camera pulled back to the second woman. She was crouching over the first woman, a shiny glass dildo in her hand.
John gasped and came, grabbing the head of his cock just in time to prevent a mess as his hips pushed forward. "Whoa," he panted. Sweet, blissful release.
He reached for the tissues, checking the computer for any stray splatters - now there was a computer problem he didn't want to have to explain - but luckily, he had caught it in time. A quick cleanup, and then he leaned back, eyes closed.
But the program was still running, and a moan made him open one eye. The sight of the glass dildo moving in and out made him open both. He had to get back to work before someone noticed he was missing. But first he was making copies.
***
Rodney was only marginally less harried than he'd been earlier, talking with Simpson, while Zelenka stood next to him frowning, clearly waiting for his turn. He was going to have to wait a little longer.
John sidled up to them, standing close to Rodney on the side opposite Zelenka. "Wrong drive," he said, interrupting their conversation.
Rodney's answer was a quick glare. Then he returned to his conversation with Simpson. John didn't even bother trying to follow it. He held up the drive in front of Rodney's eyes. "Wrong drive," he said again, moving it back and forth.
Rodney's jaw dropped and his face turned red just before he snatched the drive from John's hand. "Oh."
The hand holding the drive disappeared into his pocket, and Rodney fished into the opposite pocket with his other hand. He pulled out another drive, examining it before handing it to John.
"Thanks, Rodney," John said with a grin. Then he started toward the door, pausing and turning back after a few steps. "By the way, I made a copy for myself." Rodney turned even redder and John winked at him before turning again and leaving.
***
Afternoon meetings, review of the actual weapons data, dinner, workout, and finally John was back in his room, computer clutched in his hands.
Time for a little fun.
Not that it wasn't fun watching Rodney's cheeks turn pink whenever John caught his eye.
He sat at his desk, then changed his mind and settled in on his bed instead, kicking off his shoes and piling up the pillows behind his back. Computer on, resting on his thighs, and he called up the first file.
A man and a woman out in sunny field.
The miniskirt and spike heels didn't look very practical for the outdoors.
John shook his head and called up another file, trying to remember the name of the first one he had seen earlier, with the blowjob. He liked blowjobs. He found it on the third try, settling back to watch, fast-forwarding a little when it got repetitive. Not that he fast forwarded much because there was something about a cock moving in and out of a willing mouth that did it for him.
He kept his hands off his cock, determined to let himself get good and hot first.
By the time he finished with the third file, he was ready to proclaim Rodney a god, or at least a man with good taste in porn. There was a fine line between dirty and raunchy and the stuff in Rodney's collection walked it damn well. Well enough that if this one was as good as the others had been John might just have to give in and jerk off.
It was either that or risk losing the buttons on his pants.
Clicking on the next file in the list, he unfastened his pants. He had to put the computer down to wiggle his pants down around his thighs. When he picked it up again, he saw a couple in a tight embrace, kissing. They were already naked --nice ass, with smooth skin -- John liked asses, especially when they were round and firm like that, although he was more of a breast man when it came down to it. He brushed his fingers over the head of his own cock and sighed happily.
The guy then slid down onto his knees, camera zooming in on the large, erect penis he was about to suck.
John frowned.
The other guy was a guy, too. They were both guys. Having sex.
With each other.
"I don't think so," John said. He put a finger on the mousepad and moved the pointer up to the stop button. But then the guy on his knees took the other man's cock deep into his mouth, really deep, before letting it go and nuzzling into the guy's crotch.
John lifted his hand from the pad, just as the man doing the blowing took the other guy into his mouth again. His eyes were closed, and the look on his face was part concentration, part pleasure. It was possible he was faking, but John didn't think so.
It was kind of hot. John's hand closed around his cock as he watched the man lick and suck, as if it were the most delicious thing he had ever put into his mouth. The other man's hand was in his hair, stroking affectionately.
John gave his cock a pull. There wasn't any reason he couldn't watch this. It was two guys, but it was still a blowjob. An enthusiastic blowjob. John's favorite kind. And it wasn't like the guy was ugly or anything - he was good-looking in a square-jawed kind of way.
Stroking harder he matched his rhythm to the cock moving in and out of the guy's mouth, over and over again. He wanted a mouth on his cock, warm and wet, sucking. He liked being sucked, liked the way it just pulled the pleasure right through him.
The way it felt like his orgasm was being pulled out of him into his lover's mouth. Coming from a blowjob was different than coming from fucking, especially when she kept sucking and swallowing, not stopping. That just made it better.
The guy being blown wrapped his hand around the other guy's neck and started lifting his hips, pushing himself in and out of the mouth of the guy blowing him, pulling him a little forward at the same time. If anything the guy doing the sucking looked even more blissed out, as if he liked having his mouth fucked.
Maybe he did.
John wanted to fuck the mouth of someone who liked it. He lifted his hips a little, fucking his hand as if he was the man on the screen pushing himself in and out of his friend's mouth.
He came hard, scrabbling for tissues to contain the mess, even as the pleasure of it made his whole body shake. The laptop tipped from his thighs to the mattress. John barely noticed.
Panting, he stared up at the ceiling, come-filled tissues still pressed to the head of his cock. He'd needed that. When his breath had calmed, he dropped the tissues into the can near his bed, and picked up the laptop. The two men were still there. They were doing other things now, things John didn't want to think about.
Because he wasn't into that. He just liked blowjobs. Clicking off the file, he turned off the computer and rose from the bed, pulling up his pants so he could walk to the bathroom where he brushed his teeth.
Stripping off his clothes, he moved the laptop back to the desk and slid into the bed, feeling pleasantly relaxed from not just one but two orgasms in one day. He hadn't jerked off more than once in a day in a long time.
He should thank Rodney, if only to watch him blush and stammer out a "you're welcome." John smiled at the thought, dropping into sleep before he could decide on what exactly he'd say to Rodney.
***
"I'm not saying it's a bad idea, but," Rodney paused to shovel more eggs into his mouth. "It's not exactly a good idea, either."
"What?" John asked as he sat.
"Modifying the energy weapon to produce an EMP," Zelenka said.
"Cool." John poured ketchup on his hash browns. "Can you really do that?"
"It's not the doing that's problematic, it's the testing." Rodney chewed noisily, then slurped his coffee.
"Either way," Elizabeth said, "It's important we determine if it's at all possible."
Rodney nodded rapidly.
"It's the kind of weapon that could certainly come in handy. Do we know if Wraith ships are vulnerable?" John asked.
"Maybe," Zelenka answered. "It depends." He launched into an explanation of exactly what it depended on, but John was only half listening, because Rodney was shoving a slice of melon into his mouth, pushing it past his lips and it was disconcertingly reminiscent of the movie he had watched the night before.
"Right?" Zelenka asked.
John nodded. "If you say so."
It was bad enough he had woken up hard, and still carried lingering whispers of a dream where he was being touched by hands that sometimes weren't soft and delicate.
"No, no, no, no." Rodney said, coffee cup in one hand, the other waving in the air. "Well, maybe."
"So how do we find out for sure?" John asked, ignoring Rodney's waving hand.
"Simulations," Rodney answered.
"We have enough data," Zelenka said, but he wasn't talking to John.
Rodney nodded. "Shouldn’t take long to come up with the first test."
"Three, four hours," Zelenka said.
"Well then do it, gentlemen, and let me know the results." Elizabeth rose.
Rodney and Zelenka followed soon after, leaving John alone with his breakfast.
***
John checked in on Rodney and Zelenka a few hours later only to find them both gesticulating and speaking in a language that went completely over John's head. He was tempted to poke Rodney and suggest he adjust the flux capacitor just to get a reaction but decided against it at the last minute, backing slowly away instead.
He was fairly certain Rodney hadn't even noticed him.
He'd planned on getting Rodney to have lunch with him and his stomach rumbled half-heartedly. Since he'd eaten a late and rather large breakfast, he could probably get by with power bars. And then he could watch a couple more of Rodney's movies. Brightening at the thought, John headed for his room.
This time, settled on the bed with his pants pushed down around his knees, put the tissues within easy reach, and snagged his power bars before clicking on the first movie. Then he leaned back, and opened his power bar.
Except there was something about eating while watching porn that seemed wrong. Like he was mixing appetites or something. Placing the power bar on the nightstand, he fast forwarded past the opening dialog. It wasn't as though he really cared who characters were or what their excuse for having sex was as long as they did it.
Soon.
And they did. There was groping, fucking and the obligatory moans. And bad kissing. John tilted his head to the side. It wasn't any sexier from that angle. Tongues should never meet in mid-air like that. When kissing they should be in one mouth or the other, not in between.
Fortunately, they stopped kissing and resumed fucking. That was better. John gave his cock a long, slow stroke.
Okay, that guy had an incredibly unattractive ass for a porn star. Too flat. And the woman seemed kind of bored by his penis.
So was John. He glanced at his watch. He had twenty minutes until his officers' meeting and a fully hard cock that was nowhere near coming.
Stopping the video, he pulled up the file he'd watched the night before. A nice thick cock sliding in and out of a willing mouth was much better. He gave his cock a loving stroke. Much, much better.
There was something about the way the guy sucked. Maybe it was the genuine enthusiasm, or maybe that he was able to take so much of the damn thing into his mouth, either way it looked like it would feel really good to be on the receiving end of that mouth. John imagined it, warm and wet, sliding down his shaft, so good, and if he reached down to touch he'd feel the short, spiked hair and bristled cheeks--
John's hand faltered on his cock.
He wasn’t into guys; he was into blowjobs.
He resumed stroking.
Maybe Rodney was into them, though. John frowned, considering the idea. Rodney had never come across to him as gay, what with the women he was always drooling over. Even Wraith who only looked like women.
But he owned gay porn.
Maybe Rodney liked guys as much as women. Maybe Rodney did guys.
Or maybe he just liked good blowjobs. There wasn't anything wrong with liking good blowjobs.
John's hand moved faster.
Maybe Rodney gave blowjobs. Maybe he sucked cock. Maybe Rodney wrapped his lips around a thick shaft just like the guy was doing on-screen. John couldn't imagine what it would be like to have a cock in his mouth, it seemed big, really big, nothing like the soft nub of a woman's clit. Maybe it was easier--a bigger target, definitely.
John lifted his hand to his mouth, slid two fingers in over his tongue and sucked. A cock would be bigger. A cock would be thicker and longer, it would fill his mouth entirely. He pulled his fingers out and pushed them back in, trying to figure out what it would be like to have something like that sliding over his lips.
Then he noticed the action on-screen had changed. The guy was on his hands and knees, and the suckee was pushing inside of him. He was putting his cock up the other guy's ass.
That was just wrong, there was no way that could feel good. A finger or two was one thing, but no, not a cock, not there.
But it didn't seem to be wrong for the guy on the bottom, because he had his eyes closed in a look of total bliss. The other guy bent over to kiss him between the shoulder blades, and then leaned back and oh, camera close-up, more close-up than anyone needed, of a cock sliding in and out, John could see the edge of the condom on it, it was all shiny and slick and--
He whimpered, cock surging. He pulled his fingers from his mouth and used both hands--he was close, so close, and what if he was the one on his hands and knees, ass in the air--what if some guy was taking him, using him, shoving his cock--
He came in a rush, hips straining, cock pumping come all over his hands in a dizzying burst of pleasure. When it finally subsided, he grabbed the tissues, cleaned a hand off, and closed the computer angrily on the two men who were still going at it full force.
Sitting back, he held a handful of tissues over his cock, trying to catch his breath. "Damn it, Rodney." After a moment he cleaned himself off, then opened the computer again. He shut down the program, found the file, and dragged it into the trash.
Then dragged it out again.
***
After his officer's meeting, he found Rodney still in the lab, quietly working by himself this time. As John approached, he frowned at something on his computer, shook his head and began typing furiously.
"So what's the story with this weapon?" John demanded.
"What?" Rodney looked up, startled, hands frozen in mid-type. "You know, if I had an uninterrupted moment to review the data, I might actually have a story."
"Cut the crap, Rodney."
"You don't have to snap at me," Rodney said in a petulant tone. His mouth twisted, and John wished he wouldn't do that, because he did not need to think about Rodney's mouth right now.
And whether it had ever been wrapped around a penis.
"Okay, okay." John took a breath, pulled up a chair and sat. "Just tell me if you're ready to do the testing."
"I think," Rodney waved a finger in the air, "tomorrow."
"Really?"
"Yes." Rodney beamed at him. "A preliminary test, certainly, but if all goes well we'll know whether to proceed with further development."
"Fine." John supposed the news should make him happy. "Just tell me when."
"Hmmm." Rodney paged through some data and looked thoughtful. "Maybe 1300 hours? It will take an hour or so to get the jumper properly outfitted. Check with me again in the morning to firm it up."
John watched Rodney's hands moving on the computer, wondering just how good Rodney was at firming things up. He tried to picture Rodney with another man. Touching another man. Putting his hands on a man's penis.
He wondered what Rodney looked like naked.
"Um, Colonel?"
John jerked his head up. "What?" he snarled.
Sometimes, he hated Rodney. Just a little.
"Mind if I get back to work?"
"No," John said and left.
***
It took a little doing but he was able to find the file he'd watched earlier, the one with the two women and the glass dildo. It got him hard; it got him off, and John went to sleep content that the whole ass fucking thing had just been a momentary lapse.
Two people having sex, clearly enjoying it, getting turned on by that didn't make him gay, just human, like everyone else.
Who didn't get turned on by two people having sex?
And since he got just as turned on by two women, he was good. Fine. Better than fine.
Which is why he was whistling as he entered the jumper bay to meet Rodney. He was a little late, but Rodney probably wouldn't notice.
"Nice of you to show up." Rodney was lying under the weapons console, but he stuck his head out when John entered the jumper.
"It's only five after. Besides you aren't even ready."
Rodney snorted and stuck his head back under the console. He was lying on his back with his knees bent, his feet about a foot apart. If he'd been naked John would have been able to see everything.
But he wasn't naked. He was clothed and John couldn't see anything.
Which was good because he didn't want to see anything.
Rodney probably had a nice full ass. One that would fit in your hand. One you could squeeze.
"Do you have to do that?" John snapped.
"Only if you want an energy weapon to experiment with," Rodney answered, as though he knew what John had been talking about. John was pretty sure he didn't. There wasn't any way Rodney could know that John had been thinking about his ass, and the opening between his cheeks, and whether Rodney was hairy there. He knew Rodney had chest hair.
And arm hair.
Had he ever seen Rodney's legs? John didn't think so.
His balls were probably hairy, though.
John dropped into the pilot's seat and closed his eyes. He was not going to think about this.
Rodney snapped his fingers. "Make yourself useful and hand me that spanner, would you?"
Retrieving it from the floor where Rodney had obviously left it, John squatted beside him. "Here."
"Thanks." Rodney wrapped his hand around the base of the spanner.
John told himself that he wasn't going to think about that either.
Then Rodney lowered his legs to the floor. John thought that was a good thing for a whole three seconds until he realized that squatting next to Rodney's hips meant that he was pretty much looking down at the bulge in the front of Rodney's pants.
It was a soft bulge.
A full, soft bulge.
"All right, that should do it."
Startled, John jerked his head up abruptly, lost his balance and sat down hard.
Rodney twisted out from under the console and gave him a puzzled glance. "What are you doing?"
"Nothing." His eyes fixed on Rodney's face, John kept his expression carefully blank. "Just waiting for you to get finished with--with whatever it is you're doing."
"I'm done now." Rodney still wore a puzzled frown. "Anytime you're ready, Colonel."
"Good." John nodded and managed to get to the pilot's seat without incident, and soon they were up and away, soaring above the Lantean sea. John glanced over his shoulder, to where Rodney was working on his datapad. "Is this an atmospheric test, or do you want to be in space?" he asked, happy to focus on the work at hand.
Rodney didn't look up. "Let's try for space right now."
"Coordinates?"
Rodney gave him the information, and John pointed the jumper upwards, and soon the sky changed in color from bright blue to a deep sapphire, stars twinkling all around them. He set the jumper into a shallow orbit, flying to the opposite side of the planet in order to protect the systems in the city. After a half hour or so, Rodney came to sit next to him, plugging his datapad into the console and watching the readout. After a moment he gave a little contented hum, but then frowned and drummed his fingers on his thigh.
John watched those fingers, wondering what it would be like if Rodney's thigh was naked, and if his drumming fingers moved up onto an erect cock. The way they would if he was masturbating to images of men doing things with other men.
Then John turned away and stared out the jumper windshield. He didn’t need to be having these thoughts about Rodney.
It was entirely possible he was watching too much porn.
"Hey, Rodney," he asked, in need of a distraction. "How come the ancient computers aren't affected by EMPs?"
"Hmmm?" Rodney finally looked up. "Their systems work differently than ours. It has to do with the way the data is encoded."
"Meaning?"
"Their coding is done on a quantum level."
"Oh," John said. "That explains it." When Rodney huffed in displeasure he bit back a grin.
"Listen, it's very complicated--"
"I'm sure it is." John nodded. Normally Rodney liked to explain very complicated things to him. "Why don't we encode our data that way, then?"
"Because we--it's not the same--we don't have the--"
"You don't know how they did it, do you?" John grinned at him.
Rodney looked indignant. "You know, I have a lot of work to do here, to get the weapon ready for testing."
"Don't let me stop you." A sideways glance showed Rodney staring down at his datapad again. John waited until he had typed in one or two commands, then added, "Those Ancients must have been pretty damn smart."
Rodney's head shot up. "Well, yes, to a point. They were far more technologically advanced than us--"
"I'll say. They must have been geniuses. Each and every one of them."
"And they had many more thousands of years of civilization to reach that level of technology," Rodney added loudly.
He sounded downright insulted.
"That's okay, Rodney, I still think you're pretty smart, too." He gave Rodney a sympathetic look. "I'm sure you'll figure it out."
Rodney glared at him.
Proud of himself, John turned back to the jumper controls. "And you know the value of good porn."
"Oh. Well, yes, I do." Rodney sounded a bit mollified.
A thought struck John. "Did you ever come across any in the Ancient database?"
"No, although we haven't actually been searching for it."
"I'll bet their porn would be boring." He didn't think the Ancients were much fun, truth be told. "Yours wasn't. I checked out a few files, and it's the good stuff." The straight stuff anyway; he still had his doubts about the gay stuff, because it was obviously doing weird things to his mind. He glanced over to see that the tips of Rodney's ears where turning pink. It was kind of cute.
"Can we just get this test done?"
John checked the HUD. "Oh, we're here." He brought the jumper to a halt. "Go for it."
Rodney disconnected his datapad, and with a quick nod, rose from his seat and moved to the back of the jumper. John spun his chair around to watch, eyebrows rising as Rodney bent over, displaying a smooth round ass to perfection which did nothing to help his vow to Not Think About Such Things. "Powering up," Rodney announced, straightening.
The Ancients might have been really smart, but dull as dishwater. Rodney was certainly really smart, but he was never boring. And definitely good with his hands, John thought, watching him make adjustments to the connections.
"Okay, discharging pulse....in three, two, one--" Rodney activated the device from the datapad.
John waited. He felt, rather than heard, a faint thump.
Rodney watched the readout on the pad, then nodded. "Nice."
"That's it?" John asked, vaguely disappointed.
Rodney shrugged. "Yes?"
"I was expecting..." John spread his hands. "A bigger climax."
"I'm sure you were," Rodney said, most of his attention still on the datapad. "Feel free to start back whenever you're ready."
Sighing, John turned the jumper toward Atlantis.
***
On to Part 2